Buffy

Our little friend passed away yesterday evening, February 11 Sunday.  She had seemed to be improving since her major fainting/passing out episode on January 12.  We took her to ER and vets and and tests done to see what was causing this change for her.  They sent the results only to our son so I was sort of in a dark on what they were thinking.  Something with blood pressure perhaps.  They didn't seem to be sure.  But I learned how the medications were to be changed and gave her the two portions on salmon oil and just two times the little red balls of whatever the new medication was.

Yesterday, just yesterday, it's unbelievable.  The weather was finally nice and I could take her out for a nice walk.  DH came along.  We walked around the block and into the park.  There was a little boy having fun with batman wings his mom had made for him out of an old box.  Buffy trotted along with her tail wagging and then stopped to smell whatever she was smelling.  It was such a beautiful day, perfect temperature too. Great day to get to walk with Buffy. For she controlled the walks in a wonderful way. It was only tough stopping and starting and circling with her if I didn't feel great or had to go to the restroom.

Yesterday she ate 3 little scoops of foot after it was heated for 15 seconds and served on my hand.  Always so gentle when she almost sucked the food off my fingers.  I was sure she would eat more while we gave her her fluids. I thought she was on the rebound and we would be able to have many, many more walks and time together.

When we had lunch she came in to be with us and smell for crumbs on the floor.  Then she went back to bed.  She was so pretty sitting on two pillows that were in navy covers.  I didn't have my phone so there is no photo.  But she was really picture perfect.  We were going to go on another walk and then give her her fluids but she was sleepy so DS took her in his arms and tapped away at the computer.  I helped DH clean up after lunch, and then went upstairs to go to the restroom.  She looked so comfortable in his arms, but I still didn't have my camera.

Instead of going down right away I looked for my phone and then got distracted and sat at my computer screen, then I could hear that something had happened downstairs.  DS had put her down and went to the restroom, but when he returned she was in limp.  He was petting her on the pillow, I sat down so I could pet her too.  She had trouble with 3 or 4 breaths, then she was gone.  Just like that.  I thought she was improving and would feel better, but I was wrong.  I hope she knew we were with her at the end.  We wanted her to continue to be happy and with us. I have trouble believing how thin the line is between life and death.

We were so lucky to have her in our lives.

It's been a hard day.  I felt her in the kitchen by my feet, but of course she wasn't there.  And won't be there.  DS and I went to the grocery store together today, he helped me cut the food for Braised Cabbage and Pork, and we walked the neighborhood while that cooked in the pressure cooker.  We wanted to talk about Buffy but it was too hard, so we talked about other things and still cried.

I wish I had more photos and videos than I have. I wish I had held her every single day especially these past weeks, but it was wonderful to have her near.  I thought we'd have more time.  She handled herself with such dignity after her operation in 2021.  She liked to receive a piece of carrot or a treat and then put it down and walk away - and then challenge herself to find it again.  I am so proud of being able to walk with her.  And thankful she was in our lives. She was really amazing.